Literal Illusion
by DeadlyDevotion
Summary: Sakura makes a promise to help bring back Syaoran's precious person but she doesn't know who or where that person is. Syaoran is willing to help her but why? A simple story of a war-torn love Sakura hopes to finish SS SS
1. The End

**Chapter 1:  
****The End.  
**

She was still shaking even after it was over. Even when Syaoran had his arms around her and they were safely tucked underground Sakura couldn't stop trembling. She wasn't afraid like they thought. They kept telling her she was fine, that Syaoran wouldn't let anyone come for her and neither would any of them. He didn't say anything, but his hold around her was firm and confident to these words. But it wasn't the fear. It was the idea of what she had done, of what people did that made her so sad and shaky.

The horrible feeling even overpowered the normally exciting feeling she got from being able to share close intimacy with Syaoran. Instead she used his chest as a support and laid her cheek against his heart, hoping his steadily beating heart would calm her too.

"….are you alright?" After what had to have been an hour since she returned he finally asked. The short way he said it made her think he had been holding his breath, waiting to say it the whole time. There was a shakiness there too, that was not only endearing but comforting.

"I'm alright," she whispered. It was said softly but in the underground hideout it seemed to echo and extend to above them where their "enemies" waited. She shrunk further against him and started to shake again.

"You're not."

Sakura closed her eyes, feeling tears. "I'm not."

"...Something happened while you were there?"

"Nothing."

"…you're hurt?"

"…only on the inside, Syaoran."

"They hurt you?" he asked, surprisingly fierce.

"I hurt them."

"How."

Sakura didn't respond. She wasn't sure how to put it and decided to put her efforts into bringing herself closer to Syaoran instead. His smell, his presence, his very breath was the essence of right and comfort. She didn't want to shake anymore or to think about the evil work, no matter for good or bad, she had done and let herself fall into Syaoran instead. His arms were all she wanted to think about and his heart was all she wanted to hear. She was asleep long before the all clear had been given.

Syaoran carried her up to the main room. The action brought the eyes of all the force to them, most of them were attached to smiles though. One even laughed and asked, "And just what were you two doing down there that made her so tired….?" Syaoran had reddened from the insinuation especially when his hair was ruffled by the laughing rebel.

Past them was a semi-room with the only bed they had. A crude, dilapidated sort of thing he had found on the trail but better than a dirt floor or a tent wall for Sakura. After he covered her with his jacket and outer shirt Syaoran knelt next to her bed and took her hand in his, eventually letting his head fall near her body. When a soldier entered a few minutes later to ask Syaoran to take up a watch shift he saw the boy had fallen asleep near his charge. Their hands wouldn't part but the man doubted anyone would have the heart to do it even if it was possible.

* * *

Gray skies and dead fields of green. Roads were covered with footprints, always illuminated by the seemingly hidden sun.

There was a similar scene even here. No matter what side you were on or where you were the war always looked the same. Sakura allowed herself to smile from that. It made her ignorant for believing that to be on this side would mean you're evil, cruel, and without a heart. The truth of the matter was everyone in the war had too much heart, so much that it was ignored by other hearts as well as their own.

Behind her she could feel Syaoran watching her look out the window. He didn't talk much even as he answered and obeyed to his commands just fine. She didn't think he was heartless though. If Syaoran was then she would be dead by now. Everyone here had a heart, she repeated to herself as she smiled to Syaoran. But she didn't think most of them knew that the very thing driving them was against them too. That part was silenced with their desires.

"…They're coming back," she said absently. "We'll be leaving soon, won't we?"

After Syaoran didn't respond Sakura crawled out of the makeshift bed and came to his side instead. She didn't know why she did it but she took his hand. He looked like he didn't know why she did it either and glanced between their hands and her smile with what should have been confusion, but was only blankness.

He never told her about him, and no one knew much about him either, but Sakura supposed he had to be her age or maybe a little older. His features, though usually vacant and covered in dirt, were very striking. If he smiled she knew it would be beyond breathtaking. He rarely did, though. He either looked on blankly to her and their war-torn world or with seriousness. Too much for someone so young. He was tall compared with her too, and strong. Not only had he been able to pull himself out of the raging torrents of the river, but he had carried her in his arms without breaking his stride.

She took Syaoran's other hand and began to swing them as the memory left her with a greater smile. "I'm happy you brought me here."

"You're not."

"Well--not happy, happy…but..." She blushed lightly. "I'm happy I got to meet you."

He didn't respond this time, just looked onto her with a hard face. It was intimidating sometimes to see him look so firm and serious, but it was also a comfort too. Syaoran had already put her under his veil of protection and she felt completely safe in the midst of all her enemies. Even after yesterday….No. _Especially_ after yesterday. An urge to hug him made her shift forward but she only moved close enough to feel his breath, not to touch him.

"You're still hurt."

"I wasn't hurt," she replied.

His face seemed to flex slightly. "….You said you were."

"I only hurt myself, really….and the people I thought I knew." She frowned and lowered her eyes to their hands. "…I thought I knew everything but really I only knew what they told me. Even so..." She looked back up to him. "I know I hurt them and myself from doing what I did."

She already knew he didn't understand. What she didn't expect was for him to say. "What can I do?"

"Nothing….not unless you can stop the war." For a second Sakura got an eerie impression that Syaoran was seriously considering it so she added "No. Not even that….people will always be people, so there will always be good and bad. I just didn't expect so much of it to be bad...."

"I didn't expect there to be any good."

Sakura's cheeks still burned even after the room and the conversation were all a memory. Was he really referring to her when he said it? Or was she just being silly to think it? Either way it made her smile on their march to the next site. The "enemies" were advancing in the west and so that's where they were heading. Sakura's mission yesterday had given them just what they wanted to know but…she really didn't want to think about that. Instead she hummed a light tune from her place in front of Syaoran. They always rode on horseback together since she was technically his charge. It sounded like a nice thing but Sakura wasn't stupid. She was being attentively watched in case she turned against them again. She had no thought to that, to be honest, but now thinking on it made her wonder what it was Syaoran was sworn to do to her if she did.

"It's going to get colder," she whispered.

Syaoran brought her closer in silence.

As the land stretched out the trees eventually widened out to relative nothingness too. The front of their group stopped but Syaoran pulled his horse around the stand-stills and kept moving forward. Sakura looked over the people they were traveling with. This, according to Syaoran, was a sect of a main group Hex. They were sent out to find information and since Sakura had secured it for them they were now heading back to their corps. All of the men looked somewhat mean to her, but that was only the strain from the ongoing stress and pressure the campaign brought for them. Inside, she knew, that each had someone precious waiting from them…many, though never speaking directly with them, she knew had only memories and empty homes by now. She was as guilty as the people who had done it, a thought that made her squirm closer to Syaoran.

"They're going to ask you about the front," he said. "We're stopping because the land is spreading out and they'll want to know where the danger is and where to attack."

A gloom cast a shadow over Sakura's light hum as she looked on to the familiar field. Two years ago she and her friends would have been running carelessly among the tall grass, ducking behind the meager tress. Now it was another battle. Another grave. She began to shake again and moved closer to Syaoran. People were telling her not to be afraid again. They were telling her Syaoran would protect her, that no harm would come to her even if the enemies recognized her from yesterday. But it just wasn't the fear. How could she say that, though? When these men lived in and out and _for_ fear everyday?

No. Sakura wasn't afraid of death or of discovery. She feared her own heart and all the things it had obtained through her meeting of Syaoran and this corps and the way it battled with her emotions against what her life was before Syaoran had saved her from the river.

How could she explain to all these people that in this moment she could feel every separate heart beat? How do you tell people who fight with their fears for desire that the other people were doing the same thing? A battle of mirrors was all it was.

Everyone's heart beat together in her soul and Sakura felt herself grow dizzy. Her hand reached for Syaoran's from where it rested on the reins. As she looked on to the leaders of the sect Sakura felt him take her hand too.

Syaoran's heart beat under a different rhythm, she realized. When she looked up to him he wasn't looking at the battle or the leader. He wasn't anxiously touching the hilt of his sword as were all the men around them. He was looking at her and their hands.

"I'm alright," she said, smiling. She didn't know what else to say under his gaze and so turned to the leader to answer his questions.

Yes, there was a tent set up with supplies. No, there was no back up beyond the hill. She wasn't sure the numbers. She knew there was about five officers. Yes, the two they were looking for were on this site. But she was confident that those two wouldn't be captured. She upset people by saying this but she wouldn't lie. Kurogane-san and Fay-san wouldn't be captured. Surely they would die before they were, fighting to the very last second.

Her smile was more of a mock to the people around her but Sakura couldn't help this either. Even if they were as guilty as this group, she still loved Kurogane and Fay deeply.

"You'll have to ride with me as I fight," Syaoran told her later as he was helping her into a cloak. "They need me to push through to the other side."

"…which way?"

"Through the middle. It's not front line," he explained. "But I'll need to leave a path as we go."

"It sounds morbid…"

"That's because it is," he whispered. Though his face never really changed Sakura thought he was frowning as he helped her back on their horse "It won't take long for us to get through. I'll make sure of it."

Another chill ran up her spin as Syaoran settled himself behind her. She knew she shouldn't but she asked, "Why do you protect me…?"

The reason she knew she shouldn't was because Syaoran should respond that it was his job. She was being shameless by pushing him for her curiosity and when he didn't answer she could feel his sudden coldness. But his coldness wasn't anger or frustration, it was more of an anxiety that was hidden by a hard face.

"Because you deserve to be protected." He took up the reins quickly. "You also deserve to be happy…"

"….Everyone deserves to be happy, Syaoran."

"Some people haven't earned the right to be happy yet. And other people, whether they deserve it or not, will never have it. You deserve it, though. I'm sure of it.

"…and you?" Sakura touched his cheek when he wouldn't look at her. "Don't you think you deserve to be happy?"

"….I don't know." He looked to the hand on his cheek with absent attention. "But I know you do."

It was the last conversation she had with Syaoran.

In absolute defiance to his oath, he didn't carve a path through the line for the other's to follow. She didn't understand when they stopped in the middle of a camp. She was horrified when he pushed her off the horse. It was only when she saw the last of Syaoran's blood dripping from Kurogane's sword did Sakura understand what Syaoran had done--

* * *

**TSUBASA:RC does not belong to me.**


	2. The Book

**Chapter 2:  
****The Book.  
**

"---.…but it was only after the war was over and Syaoran was long gone did she realize what he had meant to her, what she had lost." Sakura closed the book with a smile.

There wasn't a dry eye in the coffee house.

It was the final reading of her book and though she had been nervous from the beginning, she felt excited at it's end and happy that people felt so drawn into it. There were some sincerely nice people that came up to her afterward too, asking about inspiration and where she had learned to write with such emotion. How did she know so much about the war? Had she met any of these people? Was she actually Sakura?

"….It just came to me." Sakura twisted the ring on her finger nervously as the pen scribbled her phase onto the paper. Tomoyo had brought a reporter from the town newspaper to the reading and though it was very kind, Sakura found herself growing more flushed. "I-I guess I just wanted to bring my world to life."

"Have you ever visited Clow Country?"

Sakura shook her head.

"And so where do you get your almost accurate detailing of the area?"

"I-…I didn't know whether or not it was…I honestly just wrote."

The reporter smiled. "It's very impressive, nonetheless. Thanks to some help from my Brother I went there before the country became almost inhabitable for a report…the bank where Syaoran is killed is almost right on in description to an area I visited." He grinned, putting out his hand. "I'm used to doing reports on readings here and I can honestly say your story has been one of the most pleasurable reads. I won't be surprised to see your name in print when you're older."

Sakura exhaled after he was gone, leaving Tomoyo to giggle at her red faced friend. The rest of the night was spent at Tomoyo's, trying to decide what to do with the story now. Sakura really didn't think anything should be done with it, but Tomoyo insisted that it was a crime not to share such a beautiful story with the world.

"I-it's not." Sakura mumbled nervously "…I wrote it just from a feeling."

"Do you really want to deprive the world, Sakura-chan?"

Sakura smiled. "I-I guess not…"

"Then it's settled!" They looped their arms together. "I'll get my mom to get in touch with one of the publishing agencies and--"

"I don't think they'd really be interested in a high schooler's random thoughts…."

"It's not random! It's touching! And beautiful! People need to read this, especially with the war still going on," Tomoyo insisted "Now. We'll set up the interview for Friday so we should get our outfits together before then."

Sakura sweat dropped. "O-outfits?"

"Of course! We have to look the part!" Sakura didn't know what part they were looking but she never stopped the creative working of Tomoyo-chan.

After Tomoyo had gone to bed Sakura absently turned through the pages of her handwritten story. By the time she had finished reading her audience had almost tripled at the coffee house. People enjoyed it, and that's why she had written it out. Most stories she kept in her head but this one she wanted to share and she was glad she had. A lot of people still believed the ongoing war in the neighboring country was a clear cut battle of right and wrong. But in Sakura's head and heart she thought it was something else. If maybe just one person walked away thinking that there wasn't only black and white, then she had at least got her point across well. As for their disappointment in Syaoran dying…

Sakura smiled as she ran her hand over the last page. That's how her mind told it. She had started writing a story about him coming back but it was mostly just random phrases and horrible drawings, most of which represented Syaoran and if he had lived to converse with Kurogane and Fay. She nearly laughed. It _was_ a story, after all…she could go right ahead and make a sequel and Syaoran would be alive again if she wanted…

Yet somehow, even if she wanted to and continued her vague conversations in which her lovable characters discussed "protection" and "strength," Sakura never brought herself to bring him back from the dead.

A month later the prospect of sequel was being questioned by every person who had read her story. Sakura didn't know what to do from the sudden attention and tried to answer questions as unembarrassed as possible from the local news. Her book was already being talked about all over town, and soon they were planning to expand it further into the country. Her thoughts?

"I…I never really thought about publishing it when I was writing," she mused with a smile. "But I'm happy that people are enjoying it."

The reporter smiled from Sakura's nervous twitch of twisting the ring on her finger. "I think one of the most interesting parts of the book is the fact that the main character has your name. Were you attempting to make it more autobiographical in this way?"

Sakura didn't know. Everyone thought it was a joke and laughed from her nervous smile and twitch. The papers pictured her as a lovable girl with a beautiful heart that inspires a great story. Already people were coming out with their own ideas, publishing their own versions of love tales from Clow Country. There were people against all of this of course, and some had even doubted the "authenticity" of Sakura's sources. She didn't know what to tell them because the only source was her head and tidbits of information they got from newspapers.

The truth of the matter was that no one really knew what was going on in Clow Country. People no longer went there because, as the reporter had said, it was inhabitable and monstrous. Anyone who had tried to enter the border within the last two weeks had never returned. Cameras only brought back pictures of white fog and eerie shadows.

Almost a month after Sakura's book took on local stores papers started claiming the country was now possessed by dead souls. One morning Sakura looked on from behind as Oni-chan read the paper and saw an article stating that it was now a black hole.

"Pshhh." Oni-chan tossed the paper. "That report will only get all the crazy UFO spotters over there to catch some glimpses."

"…do you believe it?"

Oni-chan raised an eyebrow.

Sakura pouted "….I'm just asking…"

"I don't care what's going on there," he mumbled. "And you shouldn't either. Don't you have school? Just because you write a book doesn't mean you can do whatever you want now."

"Tomoyo-chan's picking me up." Sakura opened up the newspaper again. "Hey, Oni-chan?"

"Ah?"

"Did we ever visit Clow Country? Before the war started?"

"Nope. Never did, never want to."

"….it's kind of funny, isn't it?"

"What?"

"That father has the same name a.s the country" Sakura laughed. "Wouldn't that be strange if our great-great-great relatives owned it?"

"No."

Sakura stuck her tongue out.

Despite sudden bursts of publicity from her story, the rise of new stories succeeded in overshadowing hers pretty nicely. Local books around town were like that, though and Sakura didn't care. She would merely smile when she saw someone from school reading her book. School was still school after her three months of fame had passed, and homework was still homework. A point that was being intolerably pressed when she found herself buried under a maze of history and psychology one night. Oni-chan was working late and so Sakura had the house to herself. Tomoyo had choir that night, her other friends were all swamped too so her only company were in old pictures along the walls of her house. There were a lot of her, but Sakura didn't remember them being taken and could only stare back with affection to the unfamiliar smiling girl that were in none of her memories.

She knew by now she would probably never remember all of that so she was happy enough just to have the pictures. She'd ask Oni-chan about the details sometimes, but he often fabricated them to make her look ridiculous.

"From eleven back," she mused with a sigh. "….I didn't exist to myself."

At ten o'clock she had gotten tired of being alone and without a childhood and decided to go to bed. A knock on the door caught her just as she was about to lay down, though. Oni-chan sometimes forgot his key and so she didn't even think twice about heading downstairs to let him in. When she opened the door, ready to tease him, she ended up blushing instead.

"You're not Oni-chan." It was a dumb thing to say, and it showed across the boy's face. Sakura suddenly became aware she was in her pajamas and flushed, hiding partly behind the door. "C-can I help you?"

"Sakura."

Her heart skipped a beat. "I am."

"That's obvious, isn't it?" And although Sakura didn't quite believe it, he walked right past her into the house.

"H-hey!" Her cheeks turned darker, with a mix of fear and anger. "Y-you can't just walk into someone's house like--!"

"I'm not staying long so calm down."

Sakura puffed slightly and reached for the phone but stopped when the intruder turned. The face, the hair, the features. Everything but the hard way he was looking at her….it couldn't be. Sakura _swore_ she was looking at the person who Syaoran was in her head. She blinked, trying to clear the image, thinking it was a trick, but it wasn't. His amber eyes were still looking at her. And though it was silly, her heart beat fast as he walked back to her.

"I'm Syaoran."

Sakura burst out laughing.

He wasn't amused. "And what's so funny?"

But Sakura continued to laugh. How could she not?! Why wasn't he? Though she tried to wave her hand in apology she couldn't even do that and continued to laugh until tears were in her eyes. The boy looked more irritated when she had finished.

"I'm sorry but--" She giggled. "For a second I swore you said your name was Syaoran--"

"What's so funny about that?" he repeated.

It was said so seriously that Sakura startled. Was she supposed to play along? Or should she just call the police?

"I'm not here to be funny," he said with that same seriousness. "I'm here to ask you about your book."

"O-oh?" Sakura moved towards the phone, but he stepped forward, making her freeze. "What do you want to know?"

"Why did you write it?"

"Eh?"

"Don't you realize you've just put yourself and them in danger?" Sakura didn't know what to think when he advanced on her, looking both angry but almost as alarmed as her. "What if this gets on to Clow Country?! What will you do then?!"

"W-wonder why a book can pass through the border and not a person…?"

His almost frightening expression made her quickly reach for the phone. But he had her hand, holding her back from dialing. She was about to scream and fight, do something close to kicking him but for the look in his eyes. He wasn't angry…he was breathing hard and frustrated but…his hand was holding hers softly.

"….You've put yourself in the most danger, Sakura." Her heart skipped a beat as his expression transformed completely. "If they find out what's in that book…that you wrote this book…"

Sakura couldn't respond. Nor did she have the chance to. Before she could even find her breath Syaoran had left, slamming the door in his exit.

* * *

**TSUBASA:RC does not belong to me.**


	3. The Meeting

**Chapter 3:  
The Meeting.**

"When the war is over we'll be together, won't we?"

"…._if_ the war is ever over."

"Oh, it'll be over," she insisted with a coy smile. "If it isn't soon, I'll make it be."

He grinned. "And how exactly do you plan to do that when no one else has been able to?"

"Well, I can't tell you."

"…why not?"

"Because then you might take the idea and make the war over before me."

Syaoran grinned more. "You don't have any idea."

Sakura merely smothered his face with a dirty jacket. There wasn't much to do at this site and so the two had snuck out back and created a little bed for themselves out of the officers' dirty laundry. The clothes Sakura was actually supposed to be cleaning at that very moment, but was obviously not getting on to that very well. They made a much better bed for the two of them, anyways. Syaoran should be training but he said he needed a break. Sakura hoped that was his secret way of saying he'd rather spend the day with her….much like she'd much, much, much rather spend the day with him.

"They'll find us," he insisted with a yawn.

"And when they do I'll blame you for the whole thing."

"Great."

Sakura smiled and poked him. "Unless you answer me this."

"Hmm?"

"Will we be together when the war is over?" she repeated.

Syaoran's face sort of turned darker, but maybe it was the shadows from the tent. "…I guess."

Sakura poked him with a frown.

"Okay, okay." He poked her back. "We'll know each other after this."

"We can live together after this!" She was positive Syaoran turned red from that. "We'll go to the next country over--move away from Clow!"

"…after fighting for it, you just want to leave it?" He sat up with a hard face. "What's the point of even being here then?"

"…that's not what I mean. We'll live here of course, but we'll visit that other country. Just for awhile."

Syaoran released a sigh.

"I said something wrong."

"You say everything right," he corrected with a grin. "That's the problem……"

Sakura looked down to the words she had written in her notebook with a frown. This was very wrong. These characters were nothing like Syaoran and Sakura from her book. She showed Tomoyo the little dialogue she had written and her friend agreed. Yukito, her brother's friend said so too. She tried getting Oni-chan to read it but he would have nothing to do with her writing and said it crept him out that she was writing herself as the character. Sakura hit him on the head with the notebook before turning back to Tomoyo.

"It's strange, isn't it? I've never written them like that before…."

"They're not that different," her friend mused. "But they are at the same time…"

"It's strange," Sakura repeated.

"Everything about you is strange," Oni-chan commented. Sakura glared. "Why does it matter anyways? You're done with writing the thing."

"Yes but…"

"You're writing a sequel?!" Tomoyo clasped her hands excitedly.

Sakura waved her hands to the idea. Sudden thoughts of the weird encounter with Syaoran came to her mind as she did. She didn't tell anyone about the boy who looked like her imaginary character and didn't plan on it. She thought on him enough though and even as she tapped her pencil against the odd dialogue that night the bizarre resemblance between what her mind pictured as Syaoran and the person she had seen was uncanny.

"But what to do about this?" she wondered, poking at the dialogue. "Sakura wouldn't be doing the laundry…and he wouldn't be sneaking around….they wouldn't have been in separate areas anyways because Sakura always had to be watched." Sakura made a face "…this girl seems clueless too. Sakura knew about both sides, but this Sakura doesn't seem to know about either."

It happened to a lot of people who wrote, though. Character's names would just sort of stick with them even when they were starting a new story. She didn't plan on sharing or publishing this anyways so Sakura let her mind absently lead her pencil across the notebook:

"….You've put yourself in the most danger, Sakura" Her heart skipped a beat as his expression transformed completely. "If they find out what's in that book…that you wrote this book…-----"

Sakura all but threw her pencil across the room in alarm. She did _not _want to write about that!

The coffee house where she had first started reading was a really great place for people in high school. During exam week everyone was around with books they intended to study but only ended up being used as coasters. Open mic was often of a higher importance than the books too. And although she really, really had gone in with Tomoyo with every intention of studying she pretended not to be too relieved when someone requested she read a chapter from her book. Even if it was only to fill in dead sound, since everyone who wanted to read it had by now, Sakura smiled brightly and randomly opened her book to a chapter.

* * *

She knew it was over when her legs began to give in. Across the whole stretch of their estate she had run from the flames and the screams with every intent on making it to a nearby site. Kurogane and Fay needed to be told immediately that the rebels were advancing farther into their field and she seemed to be the only one who had made it out. That was too quick of a thing to say though. Soon Sakura found the fire spreading faster than what her legs could keep up with.

There was no escape and no clear path to Kurogane, she realized. The only way to get to them now was to get across the river. But it was a ridiculously stupid thing to do and an almost certain death trap in itself. Was she going to drown or burn, she wondered. Under that strain Sakura took one last teary-eyed glance at her home before taking the icy plunge. At first she thought she could actually make it when she was submerged but it ended up only being the shock that disillusioned her. There was no plausible way her and her tired legs were going to make it to the other side of the bank. Her body was already going into convulsions from the freezing temperature, leaving her with only mobility enough to flap her trembling arms rather futilely.

This wasn't the way she was supposed to die, her mind screamed but he rest of her being was finding her morals less important as the seconds faded. Her body was so past the point of feeling in the icy water now that Sakura didn't even feel the arms wrap around her from below. She barely realized her waist was secured in another's warmth. And as the boy lifted her in his arms and trudged out of the cold water with almost inhuman strength, Sakura could only gasp for air and cling to the stranger in wonder.

Was he an enemy? It was her first hazy thought. Was he going to kill her? Was her second half conscious thought.

Somewhere in between being covered in his warm, dry jacket and falling asleep in his arms Sakura got her answer. She didn't ca….re---"

* * *

A strange rumble made Sakura's voice squeak. She flew off the stool she had been sitting on as the book and the microphone became air borne. When she looked out to locate them she saw that it wasn't just a sudden twitch that made her fall. The whole coffee house was upturned, leaving customers on the floor and drinks spilled over the forgotten books.

Tomoyo was already at her side. "Are you alright?!"

She held her friend back as they looked at the scene with wide eyes. "W-what…what was that?" she breathed.

__

EARTHQUAKE.

Sakura stared at the headline of the paper the next morning. "Have we ever had earthquakes before?"

"Doesn't matter, cause we have them now."

"Why don't you ever answer my questions directly?" she flared. Oni-chan just smirked before reaching for a drink from the refrigerator. "…do you think there will be more?"

"Guess we'll have to wait and see."

Sakura didn't like the prospect of this answer either. Especially when later that evening she found herself alone in the house again. Between threats of more earthquakes and visions of that boy who looked like her imaginary Syaoran her exam practice sheets didn't have a chance. Sakura found her comfort in the frantic pacing of the house. She kept herself close to the phone though and made herself uneasy by jumping at every tiny sound and when it started to rain, she wanted to cry along with it.

At once point she found herself laughing from her own paranoia but it was quickly cut off as a knock came on the door. Out the window next to the front door Sakura could see the rain coming down harder than before. When lightening flashed she saw the silhouette extend his hand to knock again.

She was terrified. She wanted to reach for the phone but she couldn't move. And when the doorknob slowly began to turn, when she realized she didn't lock the front, Sakura felt her body start to shake. The door opened, the silhouette entered.

Sakura was already passed out.

* * *

"Who are you?" was the first thing she tried to ask him.

"Syaoran," was his empty reply.

Sakura felt more uncomfortable being in his arms after the short exchange but it wasn't enough to push him away. Her legs were still dangling without much use, besides that. She knew she had to run away though. From his dress she was positive he was a rebel, that he was almost assuredly one of the people who had burned her house. The thought made her restless and ill. She wanted to be mad and she knew she should have every right to lash out and strike him for taking her hostage and burning her dreams to the ground. Though, for the strangest of unknown reasons, Sakura couldn't bring herself to do it. She took to a silent attack instead, staring at him the whole way.

"They'll kill me," she told him at one point.

"I won't allow it," was his heavy reply.

Too heavy, making Sakura look away from his hard face. They had to have walked for twenty-four hours straight though she wasn't actually sure since she was falling in and out of sleep for most of the time. But it was morning when they came up to a muddy, grubby sort of camp so she knew at least that much time had to have gone by. Everyone stared as Syaoran carried her through and Sakura found herself staring back, hoping she was coming off as menacing, even while knowing she was in a rather pathetic way.

Her first meeting with the leaders had been sort. She refused to leave Syaoran's arms, and had actually, much to the amusement of the others present, wrapped herself so completely around him that not even the strength of two officers could remove her. Something was said about her between Syaoran and the leader, but she missed it over the roars of laughter.

"When am I going to die?" she asked bluntly as Syaoran carried her away from the laughing men.

"You're not going to die."

"You're using me as bait?"

"No."

"Then why did you bring me here? I at least have the right to know, don't I?"

Apparently she didn't because Syaoran didn't respond. Instead he gently pried her off of him and set her next to a tent. She didn't go inside though and looked off past it to the hills in the distant. If she ran would they strike her down? Dying for your cause was a noble thing and yet, in that moment after escaping death, Sakura didn't find it the most appealing thing in the world. There were a lot of trees though…if she found coverage in them and then ran would they notice?

Syaoran handed her something to eat and unconsciously answered her question. "They're nowhere near here."

"Where are we?"

"Far south."

She looked down to her plate. A single roll.

"…our supplies are short."

Sakura swallowed awkwardly. "I know…." Then added softer as she handed the food back to him "…we cut it off two weeks ago."

"Three." he corrected.

"Hey!" Two people who had been in the leader's tent passed by them, laughing. "Sure you can handle her, Syaoran?!"

Sakura threw the roll at them.

It wasn't until later that Sakura found out they were to use her against her friends in a way that was worse then hostage. In a way that they never intended either since she was ultimately the one who decided to do it. Before that, though Sakura found out that Syaoran had been one of the people at the house burning. She was expected to die, but if she was to live then she was to be brought to the camp. Syaoran was just carrying out an order and though she never had a passing thought of him wanting to save her of his own accord, she felt slighted in learning that it wasn't for that reason she was saved by him.

"What did you get for bringing me back, anyways?" she asked as they ate their rolls one night.

"You."

Sakura smiled "…That's not a very fair reward."

"I think it is."

"You don't really have me." She moved closer to him, stealing his roll when he didn't look her way. "You only have to make sure I'm not attacking you or sending in secret messages."

Syaoran looked between her and his roll. "…I guess I got nothing, then."

"Well, then you could have let me back there for all that was worth." He remained silent. "It would have been much less trouble that way. Don't you think?" she grinned. It was her attempt to lighten the situation but it didn't come off that way.

She had meant nothing by the words but Syaoran wasn't humored and answered very seriously, "Just because it was trouble doesn't mean it wasn't worth it." He took his roll back. "You didn't want to die and so it was worth it."

"I don't understand you," she said after some silence. She let herself relax more easily against him as she said, "….why are you on this side, Syaoran?"

"This side?"

"Of the war." Sakura felt her cheeks darken "Would you ever want to be on my side?"

He was silent for a long time before saying, "I am on your side."

She pouted. "No. We're on you're side."

"Which is your side, since I already told you I'm on you're side." He glanced at her red cheeks. "Right?"

Sakura smiled and she swore she saw the faintest smile come from his lips too. "Maybe there was a reason I was supposed to live." She nudged him. "You know, I was asleep when the fire started so I should have died but…it was the weirdest thing. I heard something on my window. It almost sounded like someone was throwing rocks against my…." Her words faded off as she watched Syaoran toss a rock into the fire.

"What's wrong?" he asked after she had been silent for awhile.

"….nothing" Nothing could be founded on the simple action but there was something in the soft way he had said it that made Sakura's heart skip a beat. "You were ordered to burn the house, weren't you?"

Syaoran tossed another rock into the fire. "….and anyone in it."

She felt a chill run up her spin. "Did you know where my room was?"

"It's where the fire was started."

"…..were you one of the…did you start the fire?" This part was said almost against her will, because she was afraid he had. When he shook his head she released the breath she had been holding. Though when he said, "I was outside waiting," she felt her heart speed up dramatically. She wanted to ask him so badly if he had thrown the rocks, but she just couldn't bring herself to and flushed darkly.

Instead she watched with a worried expression as Syaoran stood up and offered her his hand. There was something lighter about his normally set face when she put her hand in his though, and somehow she knew she had just received the answer to her question.

As soon as their hands were connected Sakura hopped up and quickly kissed his cheek. Both turned red from the action but Sakura smiled and swung his hand with a simple explanation: "You never got a reward."

* * *

**TSUBASA:RC does not belong to me.**


	4. Syaoran A and Syaoran B

**Chapter 4:  
Syaoran A and Syaoran B.**

"That's wrong," she felt herself say. "…that's not how the story goes."

First she was changing the personalities on them and now her mind seemed to be amused at changing scenes she had already written for them! Such a silly thing a mind was, she mused as she opened her eyes. She sat up feeling rather dizzy and when she saw she had been sprawled out on the couch she grew more confused. Obviously she hadn't gotten much studying done, she grinned. But it was still night and the rain outside was still pounding against her window.

"I guess I just fell asleep for a second."

"You're alright?"

"I'm fine." Sakura turned stiff after unconsciously answering the voice. Her head whipped around to see that the person entering from the kitchen, the voice she had responded to, was none other than that Syaoran boy! "What….w-what are you doing here?!"

There was something different about him as he held out a glass of water to her. A sincerely apologetic look touched his face, but he could only meet her eyes once before looking off. Sakura watched as he sat on the ledge of coffee table in front of her. There was no meanness in his face now and he looked so shaken up Sakura couldn't stop herself from asking, "…What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry I scared you." He lifted his eyes, smiling with that same apologetic expression. "I won't stay long but I was hoping I could talk to you about your book."

"My book?" Sakura felt herself grow straight. "….you mean like why did I write it? It puts me in danger?" He looked confused and so Sakura became confused too. "…what you said last time…remember?"

He still looked troubled. But he wasn't the only one. Now that she was actually looking at Syaoran she noticed he looked very different from the last time. His clothes were dirty and in near shreds. His face was all covered with dirt and scratches and on his arm--

Sakura gasped. "What happened?!"

He subconsciously put his hand over the wound with a miserable flush. "I just need to ask you something about--"

"Ask me while I take care of that!" Before he could stop her, or she could stop herself Sakura jumped out of the couch to get the first aid kit. When she returned he was still holding his arm but his head was bent now and he looked so sad it made her forget how scary he had seemed to her the last time. "….does it hurt?"

"No. I've had it for awhile."

She frowned. "….but you've never treated it?"

"We didn't have the supplies to spare. I gave all my rations to someone else."

"I'm sure that person is happy for it," Sakura said. "But I doubt they'd be happy that you're hurting yourself in making them better."

She could feel Syaoran's stare, but he didn't say anything. There was also a small smile playing on his lips and Sakura couldn't help but think of her book. The state of him looked like he had fallen right out of the page, she mused with a grin. If anyone ever wanted to make a movie out of her book, Syaoran would be perfect to play…well, Syaoran. Not only that but he was actually wearing a sword around his waist.

She grinned. "What play is it for?"

"…eh?"

"Which play are you in?" When he didn't answer Sakura smiled. He was very distracted, she supposed and instead asked, "…how does that feel?"

"Better." Syaoran smiled. "Thank you."

His actual smile really was how her mind imagined it to be. She actually felt her cheeks darken from the simple expression. She wasn't supposed to be blushing over someone that broke into her house, she reminded herself wearily. But Syaoran, with his sad looks and half-there smiles, was just too heartwarming in that moment to kick out.

Sakura decided that if he was going to be nice now too, then she could at least try. As she set to work trying to clean a cut from his face she smiled and asked, "What would you like to know about my---?"

"You!" The door flew open, slamming up against the back wall.

Sakura barely had time to look over to the rain and footsteps pouring into her house before she was pushed, rather rudely, to the couch. She heard a chorus of heavy breathing, more frantic footsteps, and metal and when she finally had her face up from the cushions she saw two people with….with swords?! One was Syaoran and the other was…she blinked rapidly….Syaoran? Syaoran who she was just speaking with was using his sword horizontal to maybe block? She didn't know about swords so she wasn't sure. But the other boy had his vertically in what looked like a strike position. Neither of the swords looked like stage props….

"You thought you could just come here and--!?"

"I'm not trying to do what you---"

"So why are you here?!"

"Because I…where did you get that sword?" the first Syaoran breathed.

The second one reddened slightly. "…from a case in the living room…but that's not the point--!"

He made a swipe which the first Syaoran dodged from. Sakura was sure something was about to break when he back flipped but he landed almost too perfectly on the carpet near the TV. The second Syaoran wasn't amused and shouldered his sword with a frown.

"Leave her be and go back to Clow Country."

His frown was more sad than angry. "I don't want to put anyone in danger I just want…" His free hand clenched into a fist. "I just want Sakura back."

Sakura blushed, not sure what else to do when both looked her way. A phrase from her book "battle of mirrors" returned to her just then. She thought she should say something but she couldn't find her voice and could only watch as the second Syaoran stepped in front of her.

"It was stupid to come here," he said. "And just showing yourself proves even more why she had to leave you in the first place."

Sakura didn't understand but the first Syaoran did and his face broke into more misery. "….I didn't mean to cause her pain. I thought I was doing the right thing--"

"You didn't know what you were doing," The second Syaoran blocked her further from him. "and now because of it--!"

"I didn't mean to hurt you either." Silence fell between them, both now looking equally hurt and upset at the exchange. "…I came here to make it right. For Sakura and for both of you."

"….it's too late for that," was the soft but sharp reply. "You should have thought of that before you decided to be a rebel and tear the country to--"

"You don't believe that or else you wouldn't be here either…" Syaoran put his sword away with a sad grin. "…right Brother?"

"…now of all times he says it," Sakura heard him whisper under his breath before saying louder, "You don't belong here and you're putting everyone in danger by going against that. It's bad enough she decided to go ahead and write a book for the whole world to see. Between the two of you I'm surprised you're still here."

Despite the harsh words, the first Syaoran smiled.

"Don't do that." He continued to smile leading the second one to sweat slightly. "I know what you're thinking I'm thinking but that's not what I'm thinking so don't do that."

He continued to smile.

By then Sakura had seen more than enough. She wasn't sure what was going on and couldn't even tell if they were angry, upset, or amused with each other from the conversation but that wasn't important.

"Which one is Syaoran?"

"I am," they both said.

Bad plan, she thought with a weak smile. Instead she stood and attempted to move past the Syaoran guarding her to address the other Syaoran directly. He cut her off though.

"He was here first," she said calmly. "And we were talking before you decided to barge in with your sword. Once me and him are finished talking then you can have your chance to talk too."

The second Syaoran was definitely the one from the other night. His face was a lot more coarse than the other boy's, and in it was a severe firmness that looked almost painful. His eyes gave away a lot though, and she saw them shake slightly when she had moved.

"If he wanted to hurt me then he would have done it before you got here," she said. "I was passed out."

This didn't appease him and seemed to make him more frustrated. He glared to his double. Syaoran sweat dropped and shrugged, looking unsure of what to do from the accusation. The light expression faded though and both looked towards the door with sudden seriousness. Sakura followed their glance. "What's wrong?"

"Someone's coming."

Sakura gasped. "Oni-chan!"

No sooner had she said it did she see headlights pulling up to the drive. She started pushing the Syaoran nearest her. "Go! Go! He can't see you…two with your swords and your…he can't! Go to my room and we'll talk there!" Sakura gave Syaoran a final push up the stairs before pulling the idle Syaoran and flinging him up after the first. "And be quiet!"

When Oni-chan opened the door Sakura was still staring at the mess the two had made. He stared at it too but after a second past he flung his jacket to the couch and smirked. "Monster."

She balled her fists but decided not to reply. If she did they would get caught up in a little argument and take him away from getting to sleep faster. Instead Sakura took the task of being really cheerful and helpful, asking him if he wanted some food heated up before he went to bed.

"I'm not going to bed yet," he told her and much to her distress said, "Yukito's coming over. We're watching a foreign film for class."

Sakura frowned, but took out another plate for Yukito. "How long will he be here?"

Touya shrugged. "He'll probably stay the night."

"Of course…" she sighed.

"Ah?"

"Eh? Oh." She flushed, smiling too much. "I said of course he should. It'd be pointless to go home so late and---here's plates for you two---I'm going up to study---going to sleep right after. 'Kay. Night!"

_Wonderful_, Sakura thought as she sprinted upstairs. How was she going to get the two boys out of her room now?! They couldn't just stay all night could they? Sakura flushed darker. No, they couldn't. Not in her room, not in this house. All she could do was talk with the strange twins quickly, ask them why they were both named Syaoran and…and…show them to the window or something?

When she opened the door to her room the wounded Syaoran, with shabbier clothes than she first realized, was reading a book from her bookshelf. The other Syaoran had his arms crossed and was looking on to pictures of her and her friends with absent attention. They had their backs to each other at opposite sides of the room but at least their swords were put away.

"Okay!" Sakura clapped her hands, bringing both of their attention on her instantly. "I'll talk with Syaoran A and then Syaoran B and then you'll both leave through the window," she added quickly. Both blinked, leading her to flush. "…my brother is downstairs with his friend so…you can't go out that way."

"Why am I Syaoran B?" he muttered.

"Syaoran A was here first."

The one who had been looking at pictures looked off to his brother. "I have nothing to say. I'm just here because of him."

"Well then you wait until I'm done with him and then you two can go home together." Sakura advanced into the room, missing the retaliation across their faces. "You wanted to ask me something about my book?"

The wounded Syaoran closed the book he had been looking at and came forward. Not without the other Syaoran coming forward as well. Sakura nudged the second one away. "Let him speak."

"I am." He stepped forward again, Sakura poked him back again.

"…I don't want to know about the book," he said honestly. "I just want to know how I can get Sakura back."

Sakura felt her cheeks darken. "I-I don't understand."

"I already told you she wouldn't."

Sakura ignored this as an insult. "I'll try to though."

He smiled again and so she did too. "…I'm sorry that I hurt her and I'm sorry that I worried you so much that you had to take her but please--" He bowed politely. "I'll do anything to bring her back."

As he remained bowed, with clenched fists and everything Sakura glanced to the Syaoran at her other side. He looked back as impassively as he could. Though after a moment he looked off and said under his breath, "…I already told you she wouldn't."

They both looked miserable now, making Sakura feel sad too. "….Who am I supposed to tell?" she asked cautiously.

"Sakura."

"Me?"

"No. Sakura. Your Sister."

"…I don't have a sister."

"Not your sister," Syaoran insisted. "Your Sister."

"She won't understand," the second Syaoran repeated in a mummer.

Even as it was said miserably she felt frustrated from his doubts. Who was he to tell her what she could and couldn't understand?! "…If you know you could at least try to help too," she replied.

He didn't look very helpful as he crossed his arms and glanced to his brother so Sakura looked back to the first Syaoran. "I only have a brother. Are you sure I'm the right person?"

He gave a small smile. "I'm positive you are."

"Okay."

He blinked. "Okay…?"

Sakura smiled and gave a nod. "I'll tell her then."

_"--What?!"_

"Y-you will?" he breathed.

"I'll tell her," she repeated gently.

* * *

**TSUBASA:RC does not belong to me.**


End file.
